Being a girl is awesome.
The benefits of being a girl far outweigh the neggies, unless I'm on my period and I will tell you something completely different.
My manfriend has been gone for a week now, and I am really missing him.
I decided to start referring to him as my manfriend, because let's just be honest, calling someone who is practically a senior citizen your 'boyfriend' just sounds silly.
I'm just kidding. He's not practically a senior citizen, but he was born in the 70's, and to me that is hilarious. Okay, it was 1979, but still... funny.
Anyway, enough about his longevity and more about why being a girl is so awesome.
Besides the obvious like glitter, dresses, twirling, hot pink nail polish, not shaving my face, getting out of tickets and not having balls, being a girl definitely has its perks.
For example, going on dates even though you have a manfriend.
Things like sister dates, best friend dates, court dates, lunch dates.
Everything is a date. Can guys go on a best friend date?
No, unless they're in Oak Lawn, and they're probably more than just best friends.
This weekend we're having a best friend weekend.
What's a best friend weekend you ask?
A best friend weekend is where we get together to do what we would normally do at home, only together; and we have back to back slumber parties two nights in a row.
Yep, even though we're grown ups, and it's awesome and fun.
Can a guy do that? No, he can't have a slumber party with his guy friends. He can't even say the words "slumber party" and still retain his man card.
That's another thing. Do we have woman cards that can be revoked? Nope.
Then there's the sister dates, and that means hanging out with the sister, only with a fancy name.
On these dates we go shopping, get pedicures, eat chocolate.
Can a guy do that with his brother? Well no, because even if he wanted to his brother would probably be like ...WTF bro?
To celebrate being a girl I wear earrings everyday, because if I don't I feel like I look like a boy. And one thing I don't want to do is ever look like a boy again.
This goes back to my childhood, when I looked like a boy my whole life until I was 13.
People would seriously say, "is that a boy or a girl?" loud enough for me to hear.
Jerks!! How rude. It really hurt my little sensi-10 year old-feelings.
As funny as that sounds, whenever I see a little girl that looks like a boy because of a horrible haircut their grandmother inflicted on them, I just want to give them a hug, and maybe a little baggy of glitter. Just to remind them that one day they will grow out of it, and totally not look like a boy anymore.
There's another added bonus on top of being a girl, and that is being pretty.
When you're pretty you can get free shit just because of the way you look.
I would say 85% of the time you can talk your way out of a ticket without even opening your mouth.
It's a gift, don't be jeally.
Another great thing about being a girl is the ability to do arts and crafts, and say things like 'arts and crafts' and not get looked at funny.
One word: Pinterest.
When I see a guy on Pinterest, I think to myself, what are you doing on Pinterest?
You're a guy. ESPN.com is THAT way!
Glitter my keys? Glitter my shoes. Glitter on rings? Glitter in twos.
I love glitter. If I was a guy, I don't know how I would survive without it.
Some dudes love glitter/rhinestones just as much as I do; I mean take a look at those people on Jersey Shore.
Another thing I like about being a girl is the ability to shorten words and it be cute rather than not cute. Now that I say that though, it is pretty cute when some guys do it.
But not all, and that is key here, because I can't think of one girl that couldn't get away with doing it and it not being cute.
Whatevies. Jeally. Kewlies.
Oh you don't think that's cute? I'm sorry but you don't know what cute is.
I also love being a girl because I can do my hair so many different ways.
Curl it. Straighten it. Wear it wavy. Wear it down. Throw it in a pony tail.
Color it every three months to the point its completely fried? Good times!
Can guys do that? NO! They can't.
Don't even get me started on how much I love bobby pins.
I can paint my finger nails, paint my toes.
I can even pay someone else to paint them, and they massage them too!
Wear make up or not wear make up.
The possibilities are endless. What can a guy do? Not any of that, that's for sure!
Being a girl is freaking awesome.
Now I must go, because the flats I ordered online just arrived, and one of the BEST parts of being a girl are some brand new super comfy flats. Especially if they involve glitter... And these soon will! Awesome!!!
The benefits of being a girl far outweigh the neggies, unless I'm on my period and I will tell you something completely different.
My manfriend has been gone for a week now, and I am really missing him.
I decided to start referring to him as my manfriend, because let's just be honest, calling someone who is practically a senior citizen your 'boyfriend' just sounds silly.
I'm just kidding. He's not practically a senior citizen, but he was born in the 70's, and to me that is hilarious. Okay, it was 1979, but still... funny.
Anyway, enough about his longevity and more about why being a girl is so awesome.
Besides the obvious like glitter, dresses, twirling, hot pink nail polish, not shaving my face, getting out of tickets and not having balls, being a girl definitely has its perks.
For example, going on dates even though you have a manfriend.
Things like sister dates, best friend dates, court dates, lunch dates.
Everything is a date. Can guys go on a best friend date?
No, unless they're in Oak Lawn, and they're probably more than just best friends.
This weekend we're having a best friend weekend.
What's a best friend weekend you ask?
A best friend weekend is where we get together to do what we would normally do at home, only together; and we have back to back slumber parties two nights in a row.
Yep, even though we're grown ups, and it's awesome and fun.
Can a guy do that? No, he can't have a slumber party with his guy friends. He can't even say the words "slumber party" and still retain his man card.
That's another thing. Do we have woman cards that can be revoked? Nope.
Then there's the sister dates, and that means hanging out with the sister, only with a fancy name.
On these dates we go shopping, get pedicures, eat chocolate.
Can a guy do that with his brother? Well no, because even if he wanted to his brother would probably be like ...WTF bro?
To celebrate being a girl I wear earrings everyday, because if I don't I feel like I look like a boy. And one thing I don't want to do is ever look like a boy again.
This goes back to my childhood, when I looked like a boy my whole life until I was 13.
People would seriously say, "is that a boy or a girl?" loud enough for me to hear.
Jerks!! How rude. It really hurt my little sensi-10 year old-feelings.
As funny as that sounds, whenever I see a little girl that looks like a boy because of a horrible haircut their grandmother inflicted on them, I just want to give them a hug, and maybe a little baggy of glitter. Just to remind them that one day they will grow out of it, and totally not look like a boy anymore.
There's another added bonus on top of being a girl, and that is being pretty.
When you're pretty you can get free shit just because of the way you look.
I would say 85% of the time you can talk your way out of a ticket without even opening your mouth.
It's a gift, don't be jeally.
Another great thing about being a girl is the ability to do arts and crafts, and say things like 'arts and crafts' and not get looked at funny.
One word: Pinterest.
When I see a guy on Pinterest, I think to myself, what are you doing on Pinterest?
You're a guy. ESPN.com is THAT way!
Glitter my keys? Glitter my shoes. Glitter on rings? Glitter in twos.
I love glitter. If I was a guy, I don't know how I would survive without it.
Some dudes love glitter/rhinestones just as much as I do; I mean take a look at those people on Jersey Shore.
Another thing I like about being a girl is the ability to shorten words and it be cute rather than not cute. Now that I say that though, it is pretty cute when some guys do it.
But not all, and that is key here, because I can't think of one girl that couldn't get away with doing it and it not being cute.
Whatevies. Jeally. Kewlies.
Oh you don't think that's cute? I'm sorry but you don't know what cute is.
I also love being a girl because I can do my hair so many different ways.
Curl it. Straighten it. Wear it wavy. Wear it down. Throw it in a pony tail.
Color it every three months to the point its completely fried? Good times!
Can guys do that? NO! They can't.
Don't even get me started on how much I love bobby pins.
I can paint my finger nails, paint my toes.
I can even pay someone else to paint them, and they massage them too!
Wear make up or not wear make up.
The possibilities are endless. What can a guy do? Not any of that, that's for sure!
Being a girl is freaking awesome.
Now I must go, because the flats I ordered online just arrived, and one of the BEST parts of being a girl are some brand new super comfy flats. Especially if they involve glitter... And these soon will! Awesome!!!
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