B17

People are crazy.

Do you ever seriously ask yourself, 

"What the hell is wrong with people?"

Because I know I do! Pretty much every day! 

Tyler Police are on the hunt for a woman named Carmel Mitchelle-Foster Alexander (yeah that's what I said too) who performed an illegal breast augmentation in the back of her beauty shop. In the back of her beauty shop. Yep, you read that correctly.

WTF!!

There are two people to blame here.

1. The dumb ass who let someone give her a boob job in the back of Queen Diva's Hair Salon and Spa

2. The dumb ass who tried to give someone a boob job in the back of Queen Diva's Hair Salon and Spa

This really makes me question the thought process of both of these women. 

"Say girl, you want a bigger rack? Let me do it for you on the low low"

[I honestly don't really know hood-rat slang by any means, obviously]

It's not even the fact that homegirl #1 thought she could seriously pull this off, but it's the fact that the other homegirl #2 agreed to do it.

Which brings me to the question of the day:

What the HELL is wrong with people?

Does that woman look like a doctor to you?

 If you answered yes, then you are the reason why we have the question of the day. 

And my question to you is... What the hell is wrong with you?

This girl doesn't look like a doctor by any means.

 Where is her stethoscope? Scrubs? The outer portion of her eyebrows?

I wouldn't trust this woman if I saw her in a dark alley. 

I mean honestly, I wouldn't trust this woman if I saw her in broad day light in the Wal-Mart parking lot with a baby. 

I don't trust this woman primarily for the fact that she looks like a killer and also because she has like four names. Why the hell do you need for names? That's just outrageous! Is that a first in a last name, or a first middle middle last name? I'm so confused!

I wouldn't even trust this person to come within fifty feet of me with a pair of scissors, let alone to cut my hair.

I'm not sure how familiar you are with ethnic hairstyling, but that relaxer chemical can literately melt the skin off your head. If I were in the market for a relaxer, do you think I would get it from Carmel Mitchelle-Foster Alexander? HELL TO THE NO!

Your fake eyelash is falling off sweetie. 

Yes, the left one. If you can't figure out how to apply fake eyelashes to yourself using that little tube of adhesive, why would I let you give me a boob job?

Maybe her eyelash got in the way and she couldn't see what she was doing and that is why HG#2 is in critical condition after it all went down. Or, maybe it's because HG#1 injected an unknown substance into HG#2's tits, that's still up for discussion.

I know this story seems almost too crazy to be true... But there's more.

Homegirl #2 wasn't even the first one!!! 

So that means that TWO women seriously thought that this was going to be a great idea. Homegirl #2's cousin actually did the exact same thing about a week prior to her doing it. And that is just in this specific case! I don't know if ya'll have seen the pictures for concrete butt:

That looks photoshopped, doesn't it? Yeah, it's not. That's legit! 

That girl has a ton of junk in the trunk, and by junk I mean concrete and fix-a-flat. 

Was that really worth it? And here we were thinking McDonalds was bad for our health!

Why would you risk your life just to have a bigger butt and boobs?

As a life time member of the itty-bitty-titty-committee, women with big boobs really don't know what they're missing.

They don't know what they are missing, but they sure are missing it! 

Having small boobs is the freaking bomb. 

There are a lot of shirts and dresses that I can wear that women who are well endowed can't, and half of them don't even require a bra!

Really the only thing I can say to all this is: that shit cray.