B15

Have you ever met anyone that said,

"I love going to the dentist so much!"

...I haven't either.

Some people don't mind the dentist; for others it is a very stressful, very high anxiety situation that will be avoided at all costs.

Let's just say I absolutely mind going to the dentist, and I would go as far as to say that I HATE going.

 And yes, I know that hate is a very strong word!

I had a horrible dentist in my late childhood years, he was the biggest douche EVER.

For eva eva? Yes for eva eva. He will be a douche FOREVER.

He was an older gentlemen, and I think I remember him being Indian. 

That has nothing to do with the story, but I feel as though it is pertinent information.

The only good memory I have of going to that dentist was that my sister and I would sing The Sound of Music songs to each other from opposites sides of the dentist office while we were waiting for them to clean our teeth.

Yep, it is funny. And it was fun too! 

The hills really were alive with the sound of music.

While that is one fun memory I will keep with me forever, I absolutely positively hate the dentist with all my being.

 The sound of them scraping my teeth makes me want to proj-vom. 

And that is NOT easy when someone is literately all up in yo grill! 

And shots in the mouth? I don't like any kinds of shots, even if they are presented to me in a shot glass instead of a needle in my face. NO THANKS!

I put off going to the dentist for many years, 

which is not one of my best choices I have ever had.

I started going to this spa dentist that my stepdad goes to, but needless to say I never stuck around for the spa-like amenities because I was ready to get the HELL out of there as SOON as my appointment was over. 

Why would I want to dip my hands in paraffin wax and sit in a dark room at a dentist office? It's still a dentist office, even if they are playing relaxing music in a dark room with a massage chair pretending like they're not a dentist office. 

They are. And that's no where that I want to be.

I've never had a dentist with a positive attitude, either. 

What's up with that? 

They would always make me feel like all my teeth were going to fall out of my head or something. And honestly, if that ever happened, my life would seriously be oh-ver. 

Talk about a nightmare come true. 

Speaking of that, do you ever have dreams where your teeth fall out of your head? They're so realistic, and so freaking scary.

Anyway, so my last dentist wasn't THAT bad, but it was really far away, and it was still a dentist even though they try and distract you with a warm neck wrap and a TV right up in your face. I would rather go to jury duty or the DMV.

A few months ago I had an unfortunate encounter with a piece of Double Bubble that obviously wanted to ruin my life, because it ripped one of my fillings clear out of my head. And you know what happens when a filling gets ripped out of your head? 

YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DENTIST. 

The exact thing that I had been avoiding for months on end. 

In fact, it was around my one year anniversary of ditching my last dentist appointment that it happened. I had an appointment all scheduled and ready to go sometime in October, but then my sister was about to have her baby and that was the PERFECT out.

Sorry, I can't come to my appointment because my sister may be having a baby soon and I need to keep my schedule clear. I'll just call and reschedule, like never.

 (I always had to book in advance, leave super early to get there, and waiting in the car was simply not an option. Why? Because it was much easier to throw the car in REVERSE and get the HELL out of there. If I had already checked in and was waiting inside the office, it's a lot more sketch looking to just up and leave, because they KNOW that you are there.)

Needless to say, I never rescheduled that appointment.

I bet that dentist put an evil spell on me that MADE my filling fall out...

Just so I would come back.

 Maybe not, but it still sucked. 

It's not like where the filling fell out hurt or anything, so I put off going to get it fixed for a very long time. 

Longer than I would like to admit. 

[about 4 months]

That would bring us to Friday afternoon, when my tooth started hurting like a MF.

It wasn't a sharp pain, it's not sensitive to cold or sweets, but just a dull aching pain that made me want to cut my face off. 

So, what did I have to do? Make a dentist appointment.

 The first time available? 7:30AM on a Saturday.

I hate waking up early on the weekends, and waking up early on a Saturday for a dentist appointment that I had clearly been avoiding was NOT what I wanted to be doing.

Not to mention that it was RAINING and COLD. GROSS. 

Alright, so I get to the dentist office right on time, which means about two minutes late, thanks to my wonderful iPhone for leading me about 1 mile in the wrong direction.

At this point the anxiety really hasn't set in, and it honestly was kind of confusing me as to why I didn't get the sudden urge just to bypass the dentist, bust a U-Turn and head back home to the warm bed and pajamas I had abandoned too soon. 

My tooth didn't even hurt anymore! 

But I went in, filled out all the paperwork (and by all I mean one paper) and waited. Luckily, the wait wasn't very long, because let's just be honest people weren't really waiting in line to book a Saturday morning dentist appointment.

I had to get all my X-Rays redone since I was new to the office. 

What is UP with those tooth X-Rays things? 

I mean come on it's freaking 2012. 

We can't make different sizes for those little rectangular plastic pieces that never fit in my mouth and make me want to gag? 

I'm sitting there on probably around the 7th X-Ray, I'm slightly annoyed, but who wouldn't be after you just had six pieces of too-big-for-your-mouth X-Ray slides (or whatever they're called) shoved in your face over and over again?  

I'm honestly surprised the roof of my mouth didn't start bleeding or something, because it felt like it was going to explode after about the third one.

What could possibly make this situation worse, you ask?!

That stupid Foster the People "Pumped up Kicks" song, that's what.

I hate that song so freaking much, every time it comes on the radio I get the sudden urge to either 

A. Punch my radio 

B. Open the car door and jump out on the highway

I hate that song so much I seriously can feel it in my soul. 

Don't ask me why, because I really don't know why, but that mixed with the sitchie I was in made me want to kick a puppy in to traffic. But then again it was 7:30AM on a Saturday so THERE WASN'T MUCH TRAFFIC! 

I honestly would've rather been giving birth, and that's saying a lot.

So, Dr. Shakespear (and YES that IS his real name I SWEAR!) reviews my X-Rays and takes a little looksie in my mouth. He tells me I have really nice teeth, and it took everything in me to say 'Thanks, I grew them myself." But I didn't, I just said 'Thanks' but it kind of sounded like "Thxksnlksdfnxcmnv" because he had that metal tool-of-death in my mouth at the time. Why do dentists talk to you when their hands and tools crammed in your mouth, as if you could respond and not sound like a deaf person? I don't know. 

I lived through the appointment, and even scheduled another to fix the filling that fell out of my head. 

I'm 23 now but will I ever see 24 the way things are going I-DONT-KNOW... 

I have another appointment four days before my birthday so we will find out.